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Draw closer to God and you’ll draw closer to your spouse. I’ve seen many marriages drifting apart simply because their relationship with God suffered.

C.S. Lewis said, “When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.” If every spouse would consider his or her relationship with God first, with the understanding that God will draw you closer to your spouse, all marriages would be strengthened. Here are 11 ways to draw closer to God and your spouse.



Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. —1 Peter 4:8



11 Ways to Draw Closer to God and Your Spouse

Writing in The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, Timothy Keller says:

“You can only afford to be generous if you actually have some money in the bank to give. In the same way, if your only source of love and meaning is your spouse, then anytime he or she fails you, it will not just cause grief but a psychological cataclysm. If, however, you know something of the work of the Spirit in your life, you have enough love “in the bank” to be generous to your spouse even when you are not getting much affection or kindness at the moment.”

In a world that needs to see healthy marriages yet only sees marriages drifting and unhealthy, be a picture of drawing close to God in your personal life. If you draw closer to God, you’ll ultimately draw closer to your spouse. Here are 11 ways to draw closer to God and your spouse.

  1. Set a daily appointment with God and stick to it.
  2. Don’t put pressure on the time. Read, walk, pray, worship—if only for a few minutes. The point is not how long you spend but that you do it daily.
  3. Don’t get frustrated if you don’t feel close to God. Sometimes you have to do it purely out of discipline.
  4. Read the book Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge.
  5. Set up accountability with a small group.
  6. If possible, try to have your quiet time at same time and in the same place each day.
  7. Use a Bible reading plan.
  8. Turn your phone off during your quiet time. No distractions.
  9. Unless you journal on your computer, get away from a computer screen.
  10. Fight distractions and don’t get up and do something during your quiet time. This isn’t time for checking email or doing laundry.
  11. Have your favorite coffee beverage during your quiet time.

Grace Marriage Mission

Pick one of these 11 ways to draw closer to God and try doing it over the next week. Then talk to your spouse about how it went. Encourage your spouse to try one of the 11 ways.



Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.