Skip to main content

Overheard in a fitness class recently was this advice from the instructor: “If you feel your form is sinking, take a reset and come back stronger.” This concept of taking a reset—lowering your knees to the floor for a second or two before popping back up into a plank—has applications in fitness routines, but also in marriage.

The daily tasks of life can wear us down. Before we know it, we look up one day and realize we’ve been going through the motions in our relationships. Without meaning to, we can start to make our spouse feel like another item on our to-do list, instead of the most important person to us on the planet. If you recognize yourself in the previous description, let me encourage you to “take a reset.” Here are five areas to take a reset and maybe even save your marriage.



Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. —Ephesians 6:10



5 Areas to Take a Reset and Maybe Even Save Your Marriage


1. Physical

  • Exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous in order to energize you. Just get out and do something you enjoy…hiking, swimming, a friendly tennis game, a leisurely bike ride.
  • Sleep is a natural reset that God gives us to prepare us for a new day. You’re not a robot, so don’t neglect your body’s need for sleep.

2. Mental

  • At least one day a week, only check your email once. The constant communication and requests of others can wear us down. It’s okay to take a break from being available.
  • Ride in your car in silence—no radio, no podcasts, no phone calls. Let your brain go into “low power mode.” Our need to use every second for productivity will eventually wear us down, so don’t be afraid of the reset of silence.

3. Emotional

  • Plan coffee with a dear friend, preferably one who is a great listener. Choose someone with whom you can be totally open and honest about how you’re doing. Life’s too short to put on a veneer.
  • Watch a movie or read a book that makes you feel something. Sometimes what’s needed is a good cry, but other times we need to laugh for a while and even be silly.

4. Relational

  • Go on a marriage retreat with your spouse. Trust me, your marriage needs this more than you can ever imagine.
  • Go all-out planning your next date night. “Take a reset” from dinner-and-a-movie dates and get creative!


5. Spiritual

  • Go on a retreat with your men’s or women’s group at church. Or go to a seminar where you’ll get some great biblical teaching.
  • Spend some quiet time in nature with God, listening for whatever it is He has been trying to tell you over the noise of your everyday life.


Grace Marriage Mission

Ask God which of these resets you need to take this week. Do it for your own sake and for the sake of your marriage.



Marilyn Rhoads is cofounder of Grace Marriage.