We live in a world overflowing with advice—life hacks, wellness tips, productivity secrets, and marriage strategies. I’ve read many of these books over the past year and learned things like: be grateful, be curious, don’t rush, sit in silence, enjoy nature, imitate Jesus, eat healthy, exercise, and start the day with a strong morning routine.
These are helpful habits—many rooted in biblical truth. But Scripture urges us to “set our minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2). Even the best ideas must point us to something greater: a deeper, more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.
If self-help doesn’t lead us to abide in Christ, it ultimately misses the mark.
The Heart of Spiritual Growth
All of the practices listed above—gratitude, silence, structure, health—can become distractions if they become the goal rather than the means. These disciplines only have eternal value if they help us rest in Christ, grow in dependence on Him, and align our hearts with His.
Spiritual habits are not about becoming the best version of ourselves. They’re about becoming more like Christ.
And here’s the truth: We can’t do any of it perfectly. That’s why our hope must rest in Jesus—His grace, His power, and His forgiveness. When we fall short (and we will), He doesn’t condemn us. He invites us to keep walking with Him.
So, as you pursue wisdom, self-discipline, or wellness, don’t be overwhelmed. Don’t be discouraged. Let each insight and practice be an invitation to abide in Christ, the only source of true transformation.
Applying This to Your Marriage
The same principle applies to your marriage. Great books and podcasts can teach you how to communicate better, resolve conflict, and connect emotionally. But here’s the key: Without abiding in Christ, none of it lasts.
A healthy marriage is not built by following every tip or technique—it’s built when two people walk closely with Jesus.
When we abide in Him:
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We love sacrificially.
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We forgive freely.
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We serve joyfully.
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We extend grace—because we’ve received it.
So whether you’re newly married or decades in, make abiding in Christ the center of your relationship. Let your spiritual habits not just transform your life—but your marriage, too.
A Word to Pastors and Church Leaders
As a pastor or church leader, you’re constantly pouring into others—offering wisdom, shepherding hearts, and encouraging growth. But remember this: you can’t lead others into something you’re not experiencing yourself.
So let this be a personal encouragement:
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Before you lead, abide.
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Before you teach others to rest in Christ, find rest yourself.
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Before you shepherd marriages, nurture your own.
Your congregation doesn’t need you to be perfect—they need to see a leader dependent on Christ. When they see you prioritizing your marriage, pursuing spiritual disciplines, and living in grace rather than pressure, it gives them permission to do the same.
Practical Ideas:
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Model vulnerability from the pulpit—share where you fall short and how Christ sustains you.
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Teach your church that spiritual growth isn’t about performance—it’s about abiding.
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Encourage couples to develop habits that lead them to Jesus, not just to each other.
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Host marriage enrichment opportunities that focus not just on skill-building, but spiritual intimacy.
You’re not just leading a church—you’re setting the tone for what spiritual and relational health looks like. And it begins with abiding in Christ.
