In this episode of the Grace Marriage Podcast, hosts Brad and Marilyn join Rick to tackle one of the most difficult—but necessary—conversations in marriage: infidelity. With studies suggesting that 20–40% of marriages experience some form of unfaithfulness—emotional, physical, or even just flirtatious—the team digs into what causes drift, how to recognize early warning signs, and most importantly, how to safeguard your relationship before things spiral.
Through biblical wisdom, honest reflection, and practical advice, they offer hope for couples navigating marital tension, and real strategies for building a marriage that’s both resilient and rooted in grace.
What Starts as a Text Can End in Tragedy: Why Marriages Drift Toward Infidelity
Infidelity doesn’t start in a hotel room—it often begins in a conversation.
A little attention. A seemingly innocent compliment. A moment of vulnerability shared with someone other than your spouse. Over time, emotional connections deepen, lines blur, and the marriage covenant can fracture—sometimes before either spouse sees it coming.
Statistically, depending on the definition, 20–40% of marriages will experience some form of infidelity. That includes physical affairs, emotional entanglements, and even flirtatious interactions that feel harmless—until they’re not.
And here’s the truth: it can happen to anyone.
King David. Respected church leaders. Strong Christians. If they can fall, so can we.
The Drift is Real—and Dangerous
At Grace Marriage, we use the word “drift” a lot. Why?
Because affairs don’t usually erupt from nowhere. They are often the result of emotional disconnect, neglect, or busyness that creates space between spouses. Left unchecked, that space can become a canyon.
“Life causes the drift.”
Financial pressure, parenting demands, fatigue, lack of time together, spiritual dryness—these all slowly chip away at closeness until a marriage becomes vulnerable to outside affection.
It’s not always about lust. Often, it’s about loneliness.
What Protects a Marriage from Infidelity?
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Proximity to Jesus.
A heart walking closely with the Lord is the greatest safeguard against temptation. When you’re satisfied in Christ, you’re far less likely to go looking for fulfillment elsewhere. -
Intentional Connection.
Don’t assume love will carry itself. Love is a verb—one that needs consistent action. Schedule regular date nights. Have honest conversations. Be physically affectionate. Share your hearts often. -
Boundaries Without Shame.
Boundaries aren’t about legalism—they’re about wisdom. For Brad and Marilyn, that means not having solo lunches with the opposite sex. For Billy Graham, it meant not even riding elevators alone with women. The point is not to imitate rules—it’s to communicate openly and agree as a couple what wise guardrails look like for you. -
Mutual Respect and Listening.
If your spouse expresses a concern—even if it seems small—listen. Disregarding red flags can lead down dangerous paths. -
A Bigger Purpose.
When you live for a purpose beyond yourself—serving God, loving your spouse sacrificially, and building a home that reflects Christ’s love—you’re fueled even when emotions fade.
Is It Ever Too Late?
No. If there’s repentance and grace, there’s always hope.
We’ve seen marriages come back from devastating affairs—stronger than ever. But it takes two willing hearts:
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One willing to forgive
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One willing to repent and change
Without both, healing won’t take root. But with both? Restoration is not only possible—it can be powerful.
A Word to Church Leaders: Helping Couples Fight the Drift
Pastors and ministry leaders, the church must speak into this.
Many couples in your pews are quietly drifting apart. Some are already caught in emotional affairs. Others are on the edge of burnout, isolation, or temptation—and they don’t know how to ask for help.
Here’s how you can make a difference:
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Normalize talking about boundaries.
Use your platform to create space for open, shame-free conversations about temptation and healthy marriage practices. -
Proactively resource couples.
Don’t wait for crisis to hit. Encourage preventative marriage investment—through retreats, small groups, or ongoing discipleship through Grace Marriage. -
Champion strong marriages publicly.
Celebrate anniversaries. Share real (not perfect) stories of couples who’ve worked through struggle and stayed the course. -
Train leaders to recognize the drift.
Equip small group leaders and marriage mentors to spot warning signs—emotional distance, bitterness, spiritual apathy—and offer early encouragement or guidance. -
Offer safe spaces for confession and counsel.
If someone comes forward with an affair or moral failure, be ready with gospel-centered counsel, professional referral partners, and a redemptive, grace-filled posture.
When the church leads with grace and wisdom, couples find healing.
When we stay silent, drift continues—until it’s too late.
Let’s not just respond to marital collapse—let’s work together to prevent it.
Ready to Invest in the Marriages in Your Church?
We’re here to help. Grace Marriage is built to walk with couples before things fall apart—through tools, teaching, and community that foster growth, connection, and grace-filled commitment.
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