Balancing Wants and Needs: A Couple’s Guide to Spending and Saving Wisely
Balancing spending and saving as a couple can feel like walking a tightrope. Too much focus on saving, and you both might feel like you’re missing out on the joys of life together. Too much spending, and your shared financial goals may slip further away. The key to harmony lies in understanding the difference between wants and needs and crafting a strategy that works for both of you. Let’s explore how to strike this balance in your marriage without feeling deprived.
Defining Wants vs. Needs Together
At its core, a “need” is something essential for survival and basic well-being. These include housing, food, transportation, utilities, and medical care. “Wants,” on the other hand, are non-essential items or experiences that enhance enjoyment or convenience—think dining out, vacations, entertainment, and that latest gadget.
As a couple, it’s important to have honest conversations about what you each consider wants and needs. While this distinction seems straightforward, the lines often blur. For example, while food is a need, ordering takeout or dining at a fancy restaurant falls under a want. Recognizing these nuances as a team is the first step to creating a balanced financial plan.
1. Audit Your Spending as a Team
Start by tracking your joint expenses for a month. Categorize each expense as a want or a need. Be honest with each other! This exercise helps you both see where your money is going and identify areas where you may be overspending on wants.
2. Prioritize Your Needs Together
Once you’ve identified your needs, ensure they’re adequately covered in your budget. This means setting aside money for rent, utilities, groceries, and other essentials before allocating funds elsewhere. Use tools like the 50/30/20 rule, which suggests:
- 50% of your income for needs
- 30% for wants
- 20% for savings and debt repayment
Discuss and agree on the needs that take priority to ensure your financial plan aligns with both of your perspectives.
3. Budget for Guilt-Free Spending
Deprivation leads to burnout—even in relationships. To avoid this, create a budget that includes room for discretionary spending for both of you. Knowing you have money set aside for fun allows you to enjoy shared wants like date nights or individual hobbies without guilt or derailing your savings goals.
4. Differentiate Between Impulse and Intention
Before making a purchase, ask yourselves:
- Is this a want or a need?
- How will this impact our financial goals?
- Will we still value this purchase in a week or a month?
Practicing mindful spending as a couple can help you make intentional choices rather than impulsive ones. Encourage each other to pause and reflect before making significant purchases.
5. Align Spending with Your Shared Values
Your financial decisions should reflect what matters most to both of you. For example, if traveling together brings you joy and strengthens your bond, budgeting for trips may be a worthwhile “want.” On the other hand, if material possessions don’t hold much value for you as a couple, cutting back on those purchases might free up funds for more meaningful experiences.
6. Automate Joint Savings
Set up automatic transfers to your shared savings or investment accounts. Treat your savings as a non-negotiable “need” to ensure you’re consistently working toward your shared financial goals. Automating this process removes the temptation to spend money earmarked for savings.
7. Celebrate Small Wins Together
Acknowledging progress is crucial for staying motivated as a couple. Celebrate milestones like paying off debt, reaching a savings goal, or sticking to your budget for a month. Rewarding yourselves (within reason) reinforces positive habits and makes the journey more enjoyable. A special date night or a small splurge can be a great way to mark your achievements.
Conclusion
Balancing wants and needs as a couple is not about strict denial or indulgent spending; it’s about creating a plan that honors your shared goals and values. By auditing your expenses, prioritizing needs, budgeting for wants, and automating savings, you can enjoy a fulfilling life together today while securing your financial future. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress—so give each other grace as you navigate this journey toward financial well-being as a team.
