Recently, my car developed a leak, and water started pouring in. The problem was, I couldn’t locate the source of the leak. So every time it rained, the interior of the car would get soaked. I also discovered that water and electrical systems don’t mix well. My wipers, turn signals, windows, and lights began turning on and off at random. On top of that, when something repeatedly gets wet and then dries, it doesn’t do any favors for the atmosphere inside the car either.
Fortunately, there’s good news. My mechanic found the leak, and with Marilyn’s encouragement, we went all-in on tackling the strong smell of mildew, using suggestion like the ones found here.  Now, the atmosphere in my car is much better, and Marilyn no longer minds riding in it.
In marriage, the atmosphere of the relationship can sometimes feel unbearable. A spirit of offense and contempt can take over, making things hard to tolerate. When this happens, you have to go all-in to fix it. First, clear the air. Own your part in the problem and confess it to your spouse. Then, extend grace, even if their apology doesn’t quite meet your expectations. Having these tough conversations is necessary to avoid a difficult marriage.
If you don’t deal with the “smell” in the car—or in the marriage—it will only get worse, until it eventually destroys what’s left. Be the mature one. Move toward your spouse and work to get things back on track. The formula of confession + grace is an effective way to restore the atmosphere in your relationship.
Now, I’m not talking about situations involving abuse or infidelity. I’m referring to the everyday stresses and thoughtlessness that creep into marriage, turning it into a battleground.
Action Item: Ask yourself if there’s anything you’ve done recently (or failed to do) that might be bothering your spouse. Then, confess it to your spouse and work on improving that area. Also, ask yourself if you’re harboring unforgiveness toward your spouse. If you are, offer grace and love freely, just as Christ has done for you.
