🎙️In this episode of the Grace Marriage Podcast, Brad Rhoads talks with Dave and Ashley Willis—authors, speakers, and trusted voices in marriage enrichment—about three critical areas where many couples struggle: sex, money, and fun. Together, they unpack the misconceptions and tensions that often arise in these categories and share practical wisdom for bringing joy, unity, and purpose back into these often-neglected parts of married life. With honesty and grace, they remind couples that God designed marriage to be life-giving and encourage a proactive, Christ-centered approach to relational growth.
The Surprising Keys to a Thriving Marriage
Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts—a sacred union designed to reflect His love. But even the strongest couples can drift apart when daily stress and unspoken expectations build up over time. Often, the biggest tension points aren’t major betrayals or blowouts. They’re the everyday issues of sex, money, and fun—the very things that were meant to bring couples closer.
When left unspoken or misunderstood, these areas create distance. But with intention, humility, and grace, they can become powerful places of connection, healing, and joy.
1. Sex: From Pressure to Partnership
Many couples experience tension around physical intimacy. One spouse may feel pressure, while the other feels neglected. Over time, shame and silence take over. But sex was never meant to be a source of stress. It was designed by God as a beautiful, unifying part of marriage.
Here’s the shift: Instead of seeing sex as a duty or a source of conflict, view it as an emotional and spiritual connection. Physical intimacy isn’t just about pleasure—it’s about closeness, vulnerability, and delighting in one another.
🟢 Action Steps:
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Talk about it: Schedule a time to share thoughts, needs, and insecurities about intimacy.
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Remove performance pressure: Focus on connection, not perfection.
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Pray together: Invite God into the healing and strengthening of your intimacy.
2. Money: From Conflict to Unity
Finances are one of the leading causes of stress in marriage. And often, it’s not the numbers—it’s the stories behind them. One spouse may view money as security, while the other sees it as freedom. These different money “languages” can cause division if not understood.
Here’s the shift: Money is a tool, not a weapon. When couples see finances as a shared mission—something to steward together—they stop fighting against each other and start working as a team.
🟢 Action Steps:
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Share your “money story.” What did your family teach you about money growing up?
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Create shared goals. Dream about what generosity, debt freedom, or future plans could look like.
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Budget together. A budget isn’t restriction—it’s intentional living with purpose and peace.
3. Fun: From Optional to Essential
Fun is often the first thing to disappear in busy, stressful seasons. But joy isn’t a luxury in marriage—it’s a necessity. Laughter, lightness, and shared experiences help couples bond, especially in hard times.
Here’s the shift: Fun doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated. Joy grows when you’re intentional to prioritize it, even in small ways.
🟢 Action Steps:
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Schedule something fun this week. It doesn’t have to cost money—go for a walk, try a new recipe, dance in the kitchen.
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Laugh together. Watch a funny show, tell an old story, or relive a favorite memory.
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Revisit what you used to love doing together—and do it again.
Build a Marriage That Thrives, Not Just Survives
Sex, money, and fun don’t have to be sources of stress. They can be three of the most powerful connection points in your relationship—if you’re willing to be intentional. The key isn’t perfection. It’s progress. When you show up with humility, grace, and a desire to grow, God meets you there.
Marriage is a lifelong investment. And when you nurture the areas most couples avoid, you create a marriage marked by joy, peace, and purpose.
A Word to Church Leaders
As a church leader, you’re constantly pouring into the lives of others. You counsel hurting couples, celebrate new marriages, and preach God’s design for covenant love. But too often, your own marriage can quietly drift into the background—overlooked amid the urgent needs of ministry.
Here’s the truth: Your marriage is one of your most powerful ministries. When you prioritize it—not as a distraction, but as a calling—you lead from a place of wholeness and credibility. A healthy, joy-filled marriage in ministry sets a tone of hope, grace, and resilience for your entire church.
Encouragement for Your Own Marriage
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Guard your time. Block off time in your schedule specifically for your spouse—just like you would for sermon prep or staff meetings.
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Embrace fun again. Ministry can be heavy. Intentionally bring laughter and lightness into your home. Your marriage needs joy as much as it needs prayer.
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Talk about intimacy. Even in ministry, struggles with sex, connection, or emotional distance can creep in. Don’t avoid these conversations—address them with honesty and grace.
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Pray together often. Nothing strengthens unity like coming before God together. It’s not about perfect prayers—it’s about shared humility and dependence on Him.
Ways to Encourage Marriages in Your Church
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Normalize marriage care. Talk about marriage enrichment not just when couples are in crisis, but regularly—from the pulpit, in small groups, and in announcements.
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Host marriage nights or series. Offer a few evenings throughout the year where couples can come to laugh, learn, and reconnect.
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Equip your leaders. Give small group leaders, lay counselors, and mentors tools to walk with couples through common struggles—especially around sex, money, and joy.
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Use digital resources. Many couples won’t seek help in person, but they will engage with content privately. Give them access to trusted, biblical resources on marriage topics they’re hesitant to bring up in public.
Special Offer: Help Couples Navigate God’s Design for Intimacy
One of the most misunderstood and under-discussed aspects of marriage is sexual intimacy. That’s why we’re thrilled to offer church leaders an exclusive discount on the video series God, Sex and Your Marriage by clinical psychologist and trusted ministry leader Dr. Juli Slattery.
God, Sex, and Your Marriage Small Group Curriculum – Digital Videos
Use the coupon code GRACEM20GSM for an exclusive 20% discount
Equip yourself and your couples to thrive not only in theology, but in the everyday rhythms of married life. When the Church leads boldly and biblically in this area, marriages flourish—and the watching world sees the gospel on display. If you pair this with the book and workbook, it makes a great small group study or couple’s study.
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