Ever feel your spouse can’t do anything right—even down to the way they drink coffee? You’re not alone.
In this episode, Brad and Marilyn join co-host Rick Dayton to explore how intentional gratitude can shift your entire marriage dynamic. They break down a simple but powerful “eye exam” practice, share how perspective shapes connection, and talk honestly about how frustration creeps in even for long-time couples. Plus, Marilyn shares the moment gratitude rewired her heart after a silent standoff over a house.
Marriage is a journey filled with highs and lows. But what happens when the struggles feel overwhelming, and the distance between you and your spouse seems impossible to bridge? One couple’s story of transformation will inspire you to believe that restoration is possible, no matter how broken things seem.
The Breaking Point
John and Lisa had been married for over a decade, but they found themselves living more like roommates than soulmates. Conversations were brief, affection was scarce, and unresolved conflicts had piled up like bricks forming a wall between them. They both felt trapped in a cycle of disappointment, wondering if their marriage had reached its breaking point.
A Desperate Cry for Change
One evening, after another argument that ended in silence, Lisa whispered a simple prayer: “God, help us.” It was a plea from a weary heart, longing for hope. Around the same time, a friend invited them to a marriage discipleship group. Hesitant but desperate, they agreed to go.
The Turning Point: Choosing Grace Over Grudges
At their first meeting, they heard a simple yet profound truth: Marriage isn’t about keeping score—it’s about extending grace. Instead of focusing on past wounds, they were challenged to look at their marriage through the lens of God’s grace and commit to intentional growth.
Through the guidance of the group, John and Lisa started making small but powerful changes. They prayed together, spoke words of appreciation, and made time for connection. Slowly, the walls between them crumbled, replaced by understanding and renewed love.
The Power of Intentionality
Their transformation didn’t happen overnight, but each intentional step led them toward a stronger, healthier marriage. They learned to replace criticism with encouragement, assumptions with communication, and resentment with grace.
Your Marriage Can Thrive Too
If you feel like your marriage is struggling, know this: Hope is not lost. Just like John and Lisa, you can experience a marriage miracle by taking intentional steps toward grace and connection.
A Word to Pastors and Church Leaders
As a pastor or ministry leader, you’ve likely walked alongside couples who feel stuck in their marriage. Maybe you’ve even felt that way yourself at times. The reality is, every marriage—no matter how strong—faces moments of frustration, disconnection, and unmet expectations. But here’s the good news: You have the opportunity to lead couples toward a new perspective rooted in grace and intentional gratitude.
Encouraging Gratitude in Marriage
One of the simplest but most powerful shifts a couple can make is choosing gratitude over grumbling. When couples begin focusing on what’s good about their spouse instead of what frustrates them, the entire dynamic of their marriage can change. You can encourage this in your church by:
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Teaching on Grace-Filled Marriage – Preach about marriage as a reflection of God’s grace, emphasizing how gratitude fosters connection and softens hearts.
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Modeling It in Your Own Marriage – Be transparent about how you and your spouse practice gratitude, even in small ways. Your authenticity will inspire others.
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Providing Practical Challenges – Encourage couples to take the “eye exam” by intentionally shifting their perspective. Challenge them to name one thing they appreciate about their spouse every day for a week.
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Creating Space for Growth – Offer marriage discipleship groups or ongoing marriage ministries where couples can grow together and be encouraged in their journey.
When couples see their marriage through a lens of grace and gratitude, transformation happens. You have the unique role of pointing them toward hope, showing them that their relationship isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving.
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