Just Because…
There are two types of relationships. One relationship is where you hear from someone only when they want or need something from you. The other is where you hear from them because they are genuinely interested in you.
In the first type, the person will start the conversation with a bunch of questions demonstrating interest. Then, you’ll find out that they were just wanting something from you or trying to get some information out of you.
I had this happen to me with a financial adviser. I had just moved to town, and a guy invited me to lunch. The lunch went fine until I realized that the lunch invite and the first 20 minutes of the lunch were just the “show interest” part to set me up for the ask. I was being prospected, not pursued.
In the second type, the person prays for you, reaches out to you, and asks questions because they really love and care for you. In marriage, be this type of friend to your spouse. Don’t just text, call, and initiate conversation because you need something. Check on one another, pray for one another, listen to one another, and grow in depth of relationship.
So many marriages drift into a functional co-existence where the marriage is reduced to two people working hard together to try and get everything done. Create an atmosphere of care, pursuit, and love.
Ways to Show You Care:
- Send a text or call your spouse every day just to check in and see how they are doing.
- Leave Thoughtful Notes: Surprise your spouse with a handwritten note tucked into their lunch bag, placed on their car dashboard, or left on their pillow. It doesn’t have to be lengthy—just a simple “I love you” or “Thinking of you” can mean the world.
- Be Present: In today’s digital age, being fully present can be a challenge. Make it a point to put away your phone, turn off the TV, and give your spouse your undivided attention when you’re together. This shows them that they are a priority in your life.
- Listen Without Interrupting: Sometimes, your spouse just needs to vent or share their thoughts without looking for solutions. Practice active listening by giving them space to talk and truly hearing what they have to say. This builds trust and deepens your connection.
- Pray Together: There’s something uniquely intimate about praying together as a couple. Whether it’s giving thanks, asking for guidance, or praying for each other’s well-being, this spiritual practice can strengthen your bond and reinforce your commitment to each other.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.