🎙️In this episode of The Grace Marriage Podcast, Brad Rhoads and co-host Rick Dayton dive into the power of mentorship, particularly as it relates to marriage. Brad shares personal stories of how mentors shaped his life and marriage—men who invested time, asked hard questions, and demonstrated grace and wisdom in everyday life. The episode explores how true mentorship often grows out of authentic relationships and offers insight into seeking, receiving, and becoming a mentor. Brad emphasizes that a good mentor helps you grow in Christ, rest in grace, and navigate marriage and life more intentionally—not with formulas, but with presence and love.
Why Every Marriage Needs Mentorship
You Can’t Do It Alone
When it comes to marriage, many couples silently shoulder the pressure to figure it all out themselves. But sometimes, the best thing we can do is look in the mirror and admit: we need help. Not because our marriage is failing, but because we want it to thrive. Just like athletes have coaches and professionals seek out mentors to refine their craft, our marriages benefit when we intentionally pursue wisdom from those who’ve walked further down the road.
The Power of Marriage Mentors
Marriage mentors aren’t therapists or life coaches. They’re often ordinary people who’ve experienced decades of faithfulness, conflict, restoration, and joy—and who are willing to walk alongside others. They aren’t perfect. But their scars and stories hold the kind of wisdom that can keep you from unnecessary pain and help you grow through life’s hardest seasons.
Brad Rhoads shares how one man—Bill—simply asked him to lunch every Thursday. That lunch rhythm became life-changing. Brad didn’t even realize it was mentorship at the time, but years later, it reshaped his marriage, finances, faith, and leadership. Mentorship isn’t about programs or formality. It’s about presence, consistency, and honest friendship.
What Mentorship Can Do for Your Marriage
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Brings perspective: Mentors help you see your blind spots and gently call you out in love.
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Models healthy relationship rhythms: Seeing how others handle conflict, extend grace, or prioritize each other offers practical insight.
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Encourages spiritual growth: A godly mentor helps you rest in the grace of Christ, not just perform better.
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Gives accountability: It’s easy to drift in marriage. Regular connection with a mentor keeps you grounded and intentional.
How to Find a Marriage Mentor
Start by praying. Ask God to place someone on your heart. Look for couples who demonstrate joy and faithfulness—not perfection—in their marriage. Then, take a step of humility and ask: Would you be willing to walk with us, share what you’ve learned, and just be available as we grow? And if you’re a couple further along in your journey, consider who you can invest in. Your wisdom could change the trajectory of someone’s marriage.
Create a Rhythm, Not Just a Moment
One of the key takeaways from Brad’s story is this: transformation happens over time, not in a single conversation. Mentoring works best when it’s part of a rhythm. Weekly or monthly meals, walks, or check-ins help the relationship deepen—and give space for real-life application.
A Word to Church Leaders
Pastors and church leaders—you’re not just called to preach strong sermons or lead dynamic ministries. You’re called to model what it looks like to invest in your own marriage and to cultivate a culture where mentoring thrives.
Many couples in your church feel isolated, ashamed, or stuck. They need connection. Consider these steps:
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Lead by example: Share openly about those who’ve mentored you and how it’s shaped your marriage.
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Normalize mentoring: Create opportunities for seasoned couples to connect with newlyweds or struggling couples. It doesn’t have to be formal. Start with a simple dinner or conversation.
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Encourage margin: Remind your people that discipleship and mentorship require time. Help them see the value of slowing down to invest in others.
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Equip your couples: Use tools like Grace Marriage to give couples a framework to meet regularly, reflect, and grow. Scale the impact of your marriage mentors through marriage groups.
Marriage ministry isn’t just a department or a “program” in the church—it’s a culture we build. And mentorship is one of the most powerful, personal ways to foster long-term health and spiritual growth.
You can’t do it all. But you can mobilize people to connect and invest in one another.
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