Yesterday, Marilyn returned from an eleven-day trip to take our daughters to California for their summer jobs. When she got home, I carried two suitcases in and left them in the foyer. She looked at me and said, “Can you make sure those get upstairs to our rooms?”
I said “Sure” and went on with my day.
But then, I remembered the Right Away Principle—a simple but powerful habit that’s made a big impact in our marriage.
What Is the Right Away Principle?
The Right Away Principle is this: When your spouse asks you to do something—and it’s within your ability—do it right away. It’s not about perfection. It’s about prioritizing your spouse in small, tangible ways.
So I stopped what I was doing and carried the bags upstairs. That might sound minor, but this principle communicates something deep: You matter. What’s important to you matters to me.
Why Delays Can Hurt Your Marriage
Let me be honest. There have been many times when Marilyn asked me to do something, and it just… didn’t happen. Life gets busy. Things slip. Or I downplay the request because it doesn’t feel urgent or important to me.
One example: a pile of wood from a fallen tree sat outside our house—ugly and embarrassing to Marilyn. I didn’t think it was a big deal, so it stayed there. For a year. Every day, it frustrated her. And every day, I unintentionally communicated that her concerns weren’t important to me.
The good news? I finally took that wood to the dump last week. But what if I had done it right away?
What This Principle Communicates
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Respect – You’re telling your spouse, “Your voice matters.”
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Love in action – Small acts become daily expressions of love.
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Responsiveness – You reduce unnecessary tension or resentment.
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Trust – Following through builds reliability and emotional safety.
One business leader I respect said, “When my spouse asks me to do something, it always goes to the top of my list.” That mindset has served his marriage—and it’s reshaped mine.
Action Step: Apply It Today
Take a moment and ask yourself:
“Is there anything my spouse has asked me to do that I haven’t done?”
Then, stop what you’re doing and go do it.
And once you get into the rhythm of the Right Away Principle, you’ll likely start noticing needs before your spouse even has to ask. That’s how love deepens.
✝️ A Word to Pastors and Church Leaders
As spiritual leaders, we spend much of our time pouring into others—encouraging, counseling, guiding. But sometimes, in the busyness of ministry, our own marriages quietly take a back seat.
The Right Away Principle is a simple, daily practice that not only blesses your spouse, but also models servant-hearted love to your congregation.
Here’s how you can lean in:
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Lead by example. If you’re married, apply this principle at home. Let your responsiveness be a testimony to your spouse and to your people.
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Share from the pulpit. Marriage sermons don’t always need to be heavy. Use real-life examples like this one to make the beauty of small, intentional actions come alive.
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Encourage your congregation. Invite couples to do a “Right Away” challenge for one week. Ask them to listen for requests—and act promptly as a way of showing love.
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Support fellow leaders. Create safe spaces where church staff can talk honestly about how their marriages are doing, and offer grace-based accountability.
Remember: a healthy marriage is one of the most powerful testimonies you’ll ever give.
And it starts with something as simple as carrying the suitcase upstairs.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.