Are you a leftovers person? Some people love them; a good “to-go box” at a restaurant is something to look forward to tomorrow. Others avoid leftovers; if it’s not fresh, it’s not worth eating.
The biblical concept of “firstfruits” is the opposite of leftovers. In the Old Testament, God required His people to give the first and best portions of the harvest as an offering to Him. Anything less was offensive. By offering their firstfruits to the Lord, the Israelites acknowledged that everything they had came from God and belonged to Him. They thanked God and demonstrated His priority in their lives. They also believed that the rest of the harvest would come later.
By contrast, the prophet Malachi rebuked a wayward Israel for begrudgingly offering blemished offerings. He told them they had dishonored God: “I have no pleasure in you, says the Lord of hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hand.”
Proverbs 3:9 says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce.” So we can see that an offering of firstfruits is the very best—a costly, special way to show honor and thanks.
Our lives have that kind of fruit, too. Have you ever thought about where you spend your firstfruit energy? Where do you spend your firstfruit resources? Who gets your most energized and focused firstfruit time?
As your marriage is the most important horizontal relationship in your life, it is entitled to more than just your leftovers. Your spouse should get the choice cuts of your time and resources. If we only offer our spouse the bits and scraps, we dishonor them and miss out on an opportunity to grow in connection and enjoyment together. But bringing the firstfruits of our lives to our spouse is easier said than done. Children and their activities, work, ministry, friendships, technology, and hobbies can fill our time and squeeze out the marriage.
The best way to ensure you are giving your spouse your firstfruits is to think through what that looks like practically. Pray about how you can prioritize your spouse as you dive into practical consideration of giving your spouse your firstfruits.
Energy
It takes intentionality to give your marriage firstfruit energy. Fatigue negatively impacts communication, patience, focus, and sex (to name a few). Think through your specific energy meter and try to schedule time with your spouse when your energy is at its peak.
Attention
Your attention cannot be split between two things effectively. Firstfruit attention means someone (like your spouse!) gets your entire focus.
Time
Anyone can be sure of what you love by how you spend your time. God gave you your spouse as a gift, and your marriage is to be a relationship that mirrors the mutual love between Christ and the church. When you spend time with your spouse, you demonstrate that your spouse is important to you.
Communication
Giving your spouse the firstfruits of your communication looks like making your spouse your go-to person for sharing your heart and life. It is ensuring your spouse is the first person you tell when something significant happens. The emotions are the strongest, and the detail is the greatest the first time you share a story; secondhand listeners tend to get the leftovers.
Service
Meaningful service to your spouse is a significant part of a healthy marriage. See your spouse as someone to lay your life down for, not as someone who is there to support you. Serving your spouse should take priority over the demands of others whenever possible.
Creativity
Giving your marriage the firstfruits of your creativity looks like an intentional effort to plan and execute new ways of loving your spouse. Rather than giving all your creativity toward activities for the kids, plans with friends, or new ventures at work, channel creativity in your marriage. The best part? Loving creatively typically enhances every other area of marriage.
If we only offer our spouse the leftovers of our energy, attention, time, communication, service, and creativity, we dishonor and de-prioritize them and our marriage suffers. When we invest the firstfruits of these areas into our marriages, we can have relationships that bring us great joy and promote the beauty of the grace of God!