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Starting the Finance Communication 

Marriage and finances… Both require work, but when you put them together, it can be a real challenge. Two people who have grown up in different homes can have very different views on both.

One may feel their parents argue all the time; they struggle relationally and financially. They don’t eat out. They don’t take vacations because they never have enough money. The other may think their parents have it all together. They never see their parents argue. They go on vacation and buy what they want. Everything seems fine.

Do you think this couple is going to have conflicts financially? Sure, they are! They both have different experiences. One may come into marriage thinking finances are easy, just buy what you want. The other may be a saver and be cautious about what they buy after watching their parents, who were always in a bind.

Seek to understand one another’s point of view, so you can decide how YOUR OWN FAMILY will handle finances. As husband and wife, God wants you to work together as one.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  Ephesians 5:31


Finance Questions to Start to Understand Your Spouse’s View 

Here are some questions to know your spouse better, not to decide what is right or wrong. The following questions are a great starting point to begin this process. Ask open-ended questions to clarify any answers and seek to understand.

  • How was money handled in your home growing up? Was there a budget or free spending?
  • Was money (or lack of) a source of conflict in your family?
  • Do you see yourself as a saver, a spender, or a hybrid of the two?
  • What are your financial goals for our family, short-term and long-term?
  • If saving money is important to you, what amount of savings would make you feel secure?
  • How do you feel about creating and living by a budget?
  • If you are struggling financially, what spending can you cut to meet your goals?
  • Do you want to buy a home, or do you prefer to rent?
  • If children are in your life, do you want to help them pay for college?


If you need help communicating about your finances, ask another couple to mentor you; or seek help from a pastor or financial advisor. Sometimes it helps to seek insight from someone you trust as a couple.