THE FACT-CHECKER SPOUSE
Marriages often engage in unnecessary arguments. If your spouse says something you disagree with, think before deciding to voice it. Being a fact-checker may be good for politics, but it is bad for marriage.
I realize I sometimes correct Marilyn unnecessarily. Today, I caught myself before I did it. I usually make half-caf coffee in the morning. This morning, I made it fully caffeinated. I remember telling Marilyn, “I made fully caffeinated Christmas blend this morning.”
Two hours later in church, Marilyn whispered in my ear: “Don’t make fully caffeinated coffee in the morning. I feel jittery. And if you do, make sure you tell me.” I thought, “I did tell you.” Then, I stopped and just said, “OK.” “OK” worked a lot better than “I did tell you.”
I remember a couple where the husband was talking about what they did on Friday night. He said, “We went to McDonald’s…” Before he could go on, his wife quickly chimed in, “No, we ate at Wendy’s.” I could see the disgust on the husband’s face. It was pretty obvious that the “accuracy cop” wasn’t his favorite person at the time.
It gets on my nerves listening to our kids argue about a bunch of nothing. Recently, one of our kids talked about sitting in the fifth row of a football game with the family. My son quickly chimed in, “No, we sat on the sixth row.” Then, they went into full-scale argument mode, debating which row we sat on. It was crazy annoying. My guess is that it is equally maddening when one spouse unnecessarily corrects the other and starts an argument.
Correcting our spouse on such small matters only creates tension. Marriage has plenty of opportunities for necessary disagreements and conflict—don’t add to it by creating more.
Action item: Only correct your spouse if it is necessary and/or helpful. Ephesians 4:29 tells us only to speak when it builds others up according to their needs. Being the primary fact-checker in your spouse’s life certainly is not a primary need.
