The last six weeks in our marriage haven’t been our best. Yes, we have still gone on our weekly dates, but we haven’t had much fun together. We talked about it this morning and agreed that everything has just gotten too heavy.
If all you do in marriage is talk about problems and challenges, your marriage will have problems and be a challenge. A marriage needs fun. It needs play. It needs levity. We had some fun last night and, this morning, things felt different and lighter.
If your marriage feels like it is stuck in heavy clouds, be the proactive one to bring some fun to it. Yes, there are some seasons where reality is just heavy and not much fun. However, there are seasons where we can bring fun to the heavy and make things a lot more bearable.
The holiday season is a prime example of when things can get heavy for couples. Between managing packed schedules, financial pressures, and family obligations, the stress can take a toll. Navigating differing traditions, balancing time between extended families, and dealing with the emotional weight of the season can feel overwhelming.
So, how do you bring levity to the heav-ity? Here are five tips:
- Steer the conversation to lighter areas like hobbies, trips, sports, or other interests.
- Watch fun, funny, or light-hearted movies together.
- Bring some fun to your sex life.
- Don’t panic. All marriages go through seasons where the heav-ity beats the levity.
- Focus on giving grace and controlling your tongue. When things get heavy, our triggers are more sensitive, and we are looser with our tongues.
Additional Holiday Tips to Lighten the Load:
- Embrace Spontaneity: Plan a surprise outing like looking at holiday lights or baking cookies together.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Agree on a budget and make a simple, meaningful plan for gift-giving to avoid unnecessary financial strain.
- Create Your Own Traditions: Focus on what matters to you both rather than trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.
- Take Breaks Together: Make time for quiet moments, such as sharing a cup of hot cocoa or taking a winter walk.
- Laugh Often: Whether it’s a silly holiday sweater contest or revisiting funny memories, laughter can be the best stress reliever.
FOCUS ON GRATITUDE. Gratitude is the defrost that clears the window of marriage. Really dwell on what is good about your life and your marriage. You’ll see more clearly and enjoy life more.
Action item: There is a Proverb that tells us that “good news refreshes the bones.” Put something on the schedule or do something to create “good news” in your spouse’s life.
