A test for most husbands is how they respond when they are corrected or given input by their wife. Input and correction from a wife can often become the beginning of an argument or create a cold stretch in the relationship.
I am guilty of this. If Marilyn corrects me, or if it feels like she is micromanaging me, I can become sharp in my response and naturally want to withdraw.
I must remember the Proverb that says, “A wise man loves rebuke.” To become good at receiving correction or rebuke, we have to be ready for it. Scripture reminds us that discipline does not feel good at the time.
So, just because something does not feel good does not mean we have to respond in a way that sends our marriage in the wrong direction. When correction comes, are you responsive or defensive? Do you defend yourself and challenge the input? Or do you listen, absorb what is being said, and respond with humility?
At its core, this is a contrast between pride and humility. When we are prideful, we display the Proverb that says, “A fool shows his annoyance at once.” When we are humble, we are willing to accept correction and love well.
Of course, this does not mean every piece of input is delivered perfectly. We are all learning how to communicate with grace, patience, and love. But as husbands, we have a responsibility for how we receive and respond. Our response often reveals what is happening in our own hearts.
When we do not respond well, we often continue the very thing our spouse is bringing to our attention. When we respond with humility, the tension is reduced and connection is strengthened.
Let me give you a simple example. When I finish going to the bathroom, I have a habit of dropping the toilet seat, and it slams down and makes a loud noise. Marilyn has asked me many times to stop doing that. To me, it seems like no big deal. Evidently, it is a bigger deal to her.
I do not know why, but instead of simply changing the habit, her repeated reminders have made me want to drop it even harder every time 😊. That has been my pattern.
Loving well means choosing to softly put the toilet seat down and not being resistant or defiant. Yes, it is a small thing, but how we handle the small things often influences and predicts how we will handle the bigger things.
The little moments of marriage are where our character is often revealed. A humble response in the small things creates a foundation for how we will respond when the bigger challenges come.
Action item: Be ready for your spouse’s next piece of input, and choose to listen and respond with humility.
Action item for me: Softly put the toilet seat down every time 😊
