In this week’s Grace Marriage Podcast, Brad sits down again with author, speaker, and magician Drew Worsham, whose new book The Magic of Curiosity explores how asking better questions can transform how we relate to God, to others, and especially to our spouses.
(Blog adapted from podcast content)
There’s a Lot of Noise Out There
Scroll through social media and it feels like everyone is yelling.
Pick a side. Left or right. This or that.
And if you’re not on my side, I must hate you.
It’s exhausting.
Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to ask questions.
We stopped wondering how someone got where they are.
And instead of listening to stories, we started collecting opinions.
That’s where curiosity comes in.
It’s not a soft skill. It’s a superpower.
The Cure for Division Starts with Curiosity
Drew says curiosity builds bridges in a divided world.
Instead of trying to prove we’re right, we can ask, “Tell me how you got there.”
Curiosity shifts the goal from winning the argument to understanding the person.
It’s not about changing your mind. It’s about softening your heart.
As Brad puts it, “Knowledge builds compassion. Just sharing opinions builds judgment.”
When we get curious, we stop seeing people as categories and start seeing them as human again.
And that’s where the gospel starts to shine through the noise.
Curiosity in Marriage: The Everyday Bridge Builder
Now let’s bring that home — literally.
Every couple knows the tension.
Saver vs. spender. Structured vs. spontaneous. Auburn vs. Alabama.
You don’t have to agree on everything.
You just have to get curious.
When Brad and Marilyn Rhoads had to replace their roof after a hailstorm, things got interesting fast. Marilyn loved beauty and design. Brad loved saving money. They picked a roof color together, signed the contract, and by midmorning, 40% of the roof was installed. That’s when Marilyn called and said, “I hate it.”
At that moment, Brad could have lost his mind. After all, they picked it and agreed on it. But curiosity helped him pause. He remembered how much beauty matters to Marilyn — how it’s part of how she reflects God’s creativity.
So he thought to himself, “Ya know, $2,500 is a small price to pay for my wife to drive up to a house she loves.”
They changed the roof.
And instead of two weeks of silent frustration, they had one of their best weeks together.
That’s what curiosity does. It turns potential fights into connection points.
Curiosity and Grace Are Teammates
You can’t extend grace without understanding.
And you can’t understand without curiosity.
When you get curious about your spouse, you discover the “why” behind their “what.”
Maybe your spouse guards the budget because they grew up without financial security.
Maybe they plan every detail because chaos once ruled their home.
Maybe they value beauty because God wired them to reflect His creativity.
Curiosity gives you context. Context gives you compassion.
And compassion makes grace possible.
“Curiosity fuels wisdom that fuels grace,” Drew says. “Without curiosity, you’ll never have the wisdom to love well.”
The Parenting Example: Two Different Styles, One Shared Goal
Curiosity doesn’t just save marriages. It saves parenting partnerships too.
Most couples have different styles. One is structured. One is laid back. One believes in early bedtimes. The other believes in ice cream as a love language.
When you’re not curious, those differences clash.
When you are, they balance each other.
Brad admits he’s the fun dad. Marilyn is the detail-oriented mom. Early in marriage, those differences created tension. Now they see how their strengths complement each other.
“Our kids don’t need two Brads,” Brad says. “And they don’t need two Marilyns.”
That’s curiosity in action — turning friction into teamwork.
How Curiosity Turns Down the Noise
Curiosity doesn’t mean you lose conviction. It means you gain understanding.
When Brad once met with a legislator who disagreed with him on a bill, the man didn’t argue. He just asked, “Why is this so important to you?” and “Can I learn more?”
They still disagreed when it was over. But they became close friends.
That’s what curiosity does…it replaces enemies with neighbors.
It opens the door for empathy and respect.
Now imagine applying that same mindset to your marriage.
What if, instead of defending your point, you asked, “Help me understand yours”?
The Takeaway
Curiosity doesn’t mean you agree with everything.
It means you care enough to listen anyway.
In a divided world…and sometimes a divided marriage…. curiosity is how you show love.
It’s how you build trust. It’s how you grow closer to your spouse and closer to Christ.
“A fool loves to share his own opinions,” Brad says. “But a wise person seeks understanding.”
So ask more questions.
Listen longer.
And watch how curiosity turns conflict into connection.
Try This Week
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Ask your spouse, “What’s something you wish I understood about you?”
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Practice a no-interruption conversation.
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Thank them for helping you see life from their side.
Then watch what happens when curiosity meets grace.
Ready to Grow?
If you’re ready to invest in your marriage, start by asking better questions.
And if your church doesn’t have a Grace Marriage ministry yet, maybe that’s your next curious question to explore. Did you know you can start a Grace Marriage group in your own home now? Check it out HERE.
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