Episode Overview
In this episode of the Grace Marriage Podcast, Brad sits down with John McGee of Watermark Church, a national leader in marriage ministry and founder of re|engage. Together, they share practical wisdom on building healthy rhythms, convincing churches to prioritize marriage ministry, and why intentional time (not just an elaborate date night) is the real game changer.
Why Time Together Is Non-Negotiable
The good news? You don’t need extravagant getaways or Instagram-worthy date nights to strengthen your relationship. Start small:
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Six-Second Kiss or Ten-Second Hug – Backed by research, even brief physical affection strengthens connection.
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Daily Check-In – Spend 10–15 minutes asking: What was the high and low of your day? How can I pray for you?
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Weekly Deep Connection – Carve out a block of uninterrupted time—whether it’s a walk, coffee date, or shared hobby.
Think of these habits as a 401(k) for your marriage. The investment may feel small now, but over years, it compounds into something priceless.
Building Marriage Ministry Into Church Life
Healthy marriages don’t just bless families; they strengthen entire churches. Leaders like McGee emphasize that marriage ministry should be as standard as children’s or youth ministry.
If your church doesn’t currently have one, here are a few approaches:
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Start Small – Gather a handful of couples and share the impact after a few months. Growth often wins pastors over.
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Align with Vision – Frame marriage ministry as a tool for discipleship, not just another program.
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Stay Gracious – Avoid frustration if leadership isn’t immediately on board. Show gratitude, build trust, and let results speak.
The key is persistence without arrogance: keep asking, keep serving, and keep casting vision until marriage is a devoted ministry priority.
The Power of Shared Memories
Beyond daily rhythms, investing in shared experiences gives couples memories that last a lifetime. McGee teaches that memories actually pay dividends three times:
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Anticipation – The joy of planning something together.
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Experience – Enjoying the moment as it happens.
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Reflection – Reliving the memory for years to come.
And it doesn’t have to be expensive. Some couples explore every coffee shop in their town, ranking each one. Others trade babysitting nights with friends so both couples can invest in their marriages. Big or small, these intentional moments strengthen the bond and give couples stories worth retelling.
Choosing Who You Let Influence Your Marriage
Who you spend time with shapes your relationship. As the saying goes, you become like the five people you spend the most time with. That’s why wise couples seek out marriages they admire and limit time with those who consistently dishonor their spouse.
This doesn’t mean abandoning struggling couples. It means guarding your closest inner circle so that your marriage is shaped by examples worth emulating.
The Takeaway: Marriage Requires Intentional Investment
Whether it’s six seconds a day, fifteen minutes each evening, or a few hours a week, marriage thrives when couples prioritize time together. Add to that a commitment to shared memories, wise influences, and church communities that elevate marriage, and you have a recipe for lasting connection.
If you’re serious about strengthening your marriage:
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Start with one simple habit today—a daily check-in, a walk, or a six-second kiss.
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Look for couples who inspire you and spend time learning from them.
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Encourage your church to champion marriage ministry alongside discipleship, youth, and children’s programs.
As we often remind couples: Your main marriage ministry is your marriage. Live it out. Invest in it. And let your relationship become one that others want to emulate.
A Word to Pastors and Church Leaders
Pastors and church leaders play a critical role in shaping the culture of marriage within their congregations. When leadership prioritizes healthy marriages, the entire church benefits. Strong marriages build strong families, and strong families build strong churches.
Here are a few practical ways you can live this out and encourage your congregation:
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Model Marriage Investment
Don’t just preach it—practice it. Share openly (and appropriately) about the rhythms you and your spouse use to stay connected. When couples see their leaders valuing their own marriages, it sets a powerful example. -
Preach and Teach on Marriage Regularly
Incorporate marriage into sermons, discipleship series, and small groups. Treat marriage ministry as essential, not optional—on par with youth or children’s ministry. -
Create Space for Couples to Connect
Encourage couples to take intentional time together. That might mean offering childcare during churchwide “date nights,” starting a couples’ small group, or launching structured pathways like Grace Marriage or re|engage. -
Start Small and Build Momentum
You don’t have to launch a large-scale ministry overnight. Begin with a pilot group of couples, collect stories of transformation, and share them with your congregation. Small wins build trust and excitement. -
Champion a Culture of Grace
Remind couples that marriage is a journey of growth, not perfection. Encourage grace, forgiveness, and the courage to start again. A grace-filled culture allows struggling couples to seek help without shame.
When pastors and leaders elevate the importance of marriage, they are not just strengthening couples—they are strengthening the entire body of Christ. By teaching, modeling, and creating opportunities for intentional investment, you set the stage for marriages in your congregation to thrive for generations to come.
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