KEY 1: DIAL BACK THE INPUT
Don’t give your spouse advice on everything. Let them decide where to park, how fast to drive, when to use a turn signal, where to put their shoes, what to wear, what to order, and all the other day-to-day decisions that come their way.
When a marriage is filled with what we call micro-marriaging, constant little corrections and commentary, spouses can easily start getting on each other’s nerves. And it makes sense. Scripture says, “All a man’s ways seem right to him,” so subconsciously we think we know the best speed our spouse should drive, what they should order, how often they should work out, or which friendships they should pursue.
Generally, the fewer nitpicky comments, the better the marriage!
KEY 2: BE ABLE TO ACCEPT INPUT
When your spouse inevitably slips into “help you improve everything” mode, take a breath. Scripture says, “A wise man loves rebuke,” and “A fool shows his annoyance at once.”
So when your spouse tells you where to park, just park there. Don’t respond with “Leave me alone.” When they ask you to close the toilet lid more softly, take the dog out a certain way, or anything else, avoid getting defensive or irritated. Simply listen and respond with grace.
Generally, the less defensive and more responsive a spouse is, the healthier the marriage!
When both spouses work to dial back micro-marriaging and both choose to accept input without getting ticked, it sets the stage for real growth.
