In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear makes a compelling point: it’s often easier to do something 100 percent of the time than just 90 percent. I’ve found this to be absolutely true—especially when it comes to dating your spouse.
Couples who are thriving in their relationships tend to get into a consistent rhythm. They carve out time for each other week after week. But when that rhythm breaks, it’s easy for connection to become sporadic or even nonexistent.
Make Time—Every Week
My encouragement to you is simple: block off at least three hours every week just for the two of you. No phones, no distractions—just time to connect. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. What matters most is your presence, your attention, and your willingness to nurture the relationship.
Without that intentional time, your marriage won’t have the space it needs to grow. Relationships don’t flourish by accident—they flourish through consistency.
So commit to the 100 percent rule. Do it every week. Let it become a rhythm you look forward to—something you protect and prioritize. Yes, life will try to interrupt. But don’t let it.
Overcoming Life’s Obstacles to Dating
Life is full of responsibilities, interruptions, and distractions that make dating feel like a luxury. Here are some ways to overcome those common obstacles:
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Put It on the Calendar: If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real. Block the time just like you would a work meeting.
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Get Creative with Childcare: Swap with another couple, use a trusted sitter, or plan a date at home after the kids are asleep.
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Say No to Other Commitments: You don’t have to do everything. Prioritize your relationship over less important obligations.
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Limit Screen Time: Phones and streaming can eat up hours. Choose connection over consumption.
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Set Reminders: Use alarms or digital reminders to prompt weekly planning for your date time.
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Simplify Other Areas: Reduce mental load by meal prepping, delegating chores, or cutting back on unnecessary errands.
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Make It a Habit: The more often you do it, the more natural it becomes. Habits remove the need for constant decision-making.
Simple Date Ideas
You don’t need a fancy night out to have a meaningful date. Here are some easy, low-pressure ideas:
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Cook a New Recipe Together – Turn on some music and try something fun in the kitchen.
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Go for a Walk or Hike – Fresh air and good conversation can do wonders.
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Visit a Local Coffee Shop – Sit, sip, and talk without distractions.
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Have a Picnic at the Park – Pack snacks, bring a blanket, and enjoy the outdoors.
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Watch the Sunset – Find a spot with a good view and just be together.
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Do a Puzzle or Play a Board Game – Low stress, lots of laughs.
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Visit a Farmers Market – Walk around, sample things, and pick out dinner together.
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Try a Hobby Together – Painting, pottery, or even a YouTube dance tutorial.
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Tour Your Own Town – Pretend you’re tourists and check out local spots you’ve never visited.
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Read a Book Together – Pick a short one or read chapters aloud to each other.
Action Step
Go to your spouse today and say: “I love spending time with you. Let’s block off at least three hours every week just for us.” Then open your calendars and make it happen.
You don’t need perfection. You need consistency. Give your relationship 100 percent—and watch it thrive.
