Think of the last time you went out of your way to help someone else. Perhaps you volunteered to serve meals to the hungry, or served your local church body in the childcare ministry.
Did you regret your decision to serve or to help? Did you wish you had that time or energy back so you could spend it on yourself? I’m sure the answer is a resounding “NO!” Sadly, you forget about this when you get married. Over the years, serving becomes something else, and you may decide, “I hate being married.” Here is what to do when you hate being married.
“I hate being married”
It is a blessing to us when we give of ourselves to help another person. When we act in a loving way, our heart follows our actions, and we genuinely feel more love and care for others. We become more like Christ.
This readily translates to our marriages. We are at our best—and are also most fulfilled—when we have our focus off of self and on loving another. In most cases, life is pretty difficult for both spouses.
Dwelling on what you need and are not getting is bad for you and your marriage. Dwelling on your spouse’s difficulties and helping them will serve you and your marriage well. When you feel like you hate being married, lay down your life for your spouse. As you lay down your life for your spouse, both you and your marriage will be richly blessed!
Grace Marriage Mission
Spend some quiet time reflecting on at least one difficulty you know your spouse is facing, whether it’s a temporary situation or a recurring struggle. Write down two or three ways you can help or serve them with regard to that problem.
Perhaps the most you can do is come alongside them and encourage them. Think of ways your words can especially affirm and champion your spouse. End the time in praying for your spouse and your marriage.
Think on these Scripture:
Matthew 10:39 > Anyone who finds his life will lose it, and anyone who loses his life because of me will find it.
Matthew 20:16 > So the last will be first, and the first last.
Mark 10:45 > For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Marilyn Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.