I recently asked a wife why marriage felt so difficult to prioritize and grow. She immediately teared up and answered with one word:
“Life.”
She was right.
Lately, life has been heavy. We’ve experienced the deaths of friends, sickness in our family, the hospitalization of a close relative, church complexities, and my wife’s health challenges. It just feels like life has been a lot.
And it has affected our marriage.
Emotionally, I’ve felt overwhelmed. That overwhelm has made me more lethargic and less connectable. The weight of everything has impacted the quality of our time together. If I’m honest, I’ve found myself wanting to watch Netflix more than sit and talk.
I know sharing my emotions and struggles is important, but I simply haven’t wanted to. As a result, we haven’t felt as connected.
This morning, I spoke with a mentor who brought much-needed encouragement. He reminded me that what I’m experiencing is normal. Then he gently challenged me to keep sharing, pursue Marilyn, and not allow the disconnect to continue.
Life makes every marriage more difficult at times. The real question isn’t whether trouble will come. It is how we will navigate it and keep our marriage on track.
Here are five keys to staying connected and continuing to grow through life’s storms.
1. Don’t Panic
Scripture tells us that marriage will come with trouble. Difficult seasons are normal. No matter how much we grow, we are never immune to the trials of life.
2. Share Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
Keeping the lines of communication open is essential. Silence may feel easier, but it often creates distance. Share, even when it’s hard.
3. Keep Coming Together Physically
Stress and emotional exhaustion can cause intimacy to drift to the bottom of the priority list. Continue pursuing one another physically. Connection in this area matters.
4. Keep Dating Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
Time is the container in which a marriage grows.
Small time, small marriage. Big time, big marriage.
Life can make it difficult to enjoy being together, but don’t stop making time for each other. Keep dating.
5. Grace. Grace. Grace.
Most importantly, give grace.
Give yourself grace. Give your spouse grace.
Our hope isn’t found in handling life perfectly. Our hope is found in the One who already did.
Jesus handled life perfectly, and His grace covers our imperfections. Rest in Him instead of stressing over your shortcomings.
Life may make marriage harder, but grace makes it possible to keep growing.
Don’t let life pull you apart. Let it drive you toward each other and toward Him.
