Many couples believe they can’t spend quality time together because of the overwhelming demands of parenting. But neglecting your marriage for the sake of being a “good parent” is not only unwise—it’s unbiblical.
1. A Strong Marriage Is Part of Good Parenting
Your marriage sets the tone for the atmosphere in your home. Children learn what love, respect, and commitment look like by watching their parents. A thriving marriage models godly love and stability—two things kids desperately need to witness.
2. Child-Centered Homes Hurt Children in the Long Run
When children are placed at the center of the home, it creates an unhealthy dynamic. This type of environment unintentionally trains them to expect to be the focal point of all things. But life doesn’t work that way. As adults, they will struggle to adjust to not being the center of attention, leading to challenges in relationships, work, and faith.
3. Neglected Marriages Struggle in the Empty Nest Season
Parents who invest all their emotional energy into their children can become overly dependent on them. When the children leave, many couples find they have little relational “capital” left. This emotional distance often contributes to the rising rate of divorce among couples over 50.
4. Your Marriage Impacts Your Child’s Future Relationships
Children who grow up in homes where the marriage takes a backseat often carry that model into their own families. They may struggle to “leave and cleave” because of emotional entanglement with their parents. As a result, their own marriage may suffer, and the cycle continues into future generations.
Break the Pattern: Choose a Christ-Centered Marriage
Prioritizing your marriage amid the chaos of parenting isn’t easy—but it’s worth it. It’s good for your relationship, your children, and your long-term mental and emotional health.
Parents often say they can’t find five hours a week for each other, yet they spend twenty hours driving kids to sports tournaments. The model is broken. Scripture calls us not to conform to the patterns of this world (Romans 12:2). That includes how we prioritize our time and relationships.
Choose to be countercultural. Choose to invest in a Biblical, Christ-centered marriage. Loving your spouse well is one of the most important acts of parenting you can do.
A Word to Pastors and Church Leaders
As shepherds of God’s people, you’re not only called to teach truth—you’re called to model it.
1. Prioritize Your Own Marriage:
Ministry is demanding, and it’s easy for your marriage to slip into the background. But your congregation is watching. They don’t need perfect pastors—they need real ones. Let them see you love, cherish, and spend intentional time with your spouse. It speaks volumes without saying a word.
2. Equip Parents in Your Church:
Preach and teach about the value of marriage—not just at weddings or marriage conferences, but regularly. Offer practical resources, create small groups for couples, and encourage regular date nights. Help families see that building a strong marriage is a form of spiritual warfare—and a key to generational blessing.
3. Break Cultural Norms from the Pulpit:
Call out the idolization of children and busyness. Teach that a godly marriage is foundational to healthy parenting and strong communities. Encourage families to realign their homes to reflect God’s design—not cultural expectations.
Remember: when marriages thrive, the Church thrives. Be bold in leading your people back to God’s vision for the family—starting with a Christ-centered marriage.
