I often hear, “I feel like technology is ruining my marriage.” Desperate couples will often feel like something is wrong, but they aren’t sure if technology is to blame or something else.
First, if you feel like tech is to blame for your marriage struggles, you aren’t alone. Many couples think technology is a barrier to their relationships. Here are 10 questions to ask so you find out if technology is ruining your marriage.
According to a Psychology Today article, “While the big 3 disputes for couples’ arguments used to be sex, money, and kids, it seems smartphones are rapidly rising up that list.”
When you are able to focus on your spouse, your marriage will ultimately be enhanced. Your marriage will improve—over time—when you both are engaged relationally.
10 questions to find out if technology is ruining your marriage
Question 1: Do I use the cell phone at home during our time together as a family?
Question 2: Would I be more focused at home if I reduced or eliminated technology use?
Question 3: Are times in the vehicle with my spouse and family hindered by my use of the cell phone?
Question 4: Should I institute a “dark period” where I completely detach from technology?
Question 5: What social media outlets are most distracting to me?
Question 6: Should I limit the use or completely detach from any of these outlets?
Question 7: Do I have time alone to reflect or do I jump on a device when I have a moment of downtime?
Question 8: Would a regular “technology fast” serve me and my family well?
Question 9: Do my spouse or children ever complain about my cell phone use?
Question 10: Do I get defensive when my cell phone or technology use is criticized?
Grace Marriage Mission
Review the list of 10 questions. Answer them for yourself. Ask your spouse to answer them. Then, discuss. Have fun.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.