Technology can be a barrier to enjoying the moment and connecting with your spouse. Having the ability to act on almost every thought, many of us are rarely totally present.
On a typical night, family time is interrupted dozens of times by sending texts, checking social media, playing games, checking sports scores, looking at the news, or doing whatever else comes to mind. Basically, we have increased distraction and decreased connection. Here are 10 technology tips to help you stay married.
“Whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich.”
Studies show that the higher the use of smart phones, the lower the level of relationships. In fact, a majority of married couples report that technology and devices are significantly disruptive in their relationships. The research shows that “when a partner attends to a cell phone instead of you, it feels like rejection.” It sends the message that I am more interested in my cell phone and others than I am in you.
Proverbs remind us that he who loves pleasure will become poor. Our need for mental stimulation appears to be decreasing our depth of relationship. Albert Einstein is often credited for saying: “I fear the day that technology will surpass human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.”
On a typical night, I check my email several times, send and receive multiple texts, check the sports scores often, and make or answer a few calls. Watering down precious family time with these distractions is foolish.
One recent article asks the question, “Will our relationships hold up with the omnipresent distraction of the world?” Relationships require focus, and technology often strips us of it. We must choose relationship over technology.
Sadly, technology use is one of the main complaints we hear from spouses. To achieve deep intimacy in marriage, ridding yourself of constant distraction is a must. We think it is necessary for others to always have access to us. This is simply not the case.
We have to control our technology use rather than being controlled by it. Here are 10 technology tips to help you stay married.
10 technology tips to help you stay married
- Check your email once a day.
- No cell phone use at mealtimes.
- No cell phone use when someone is with you in the car.
- Put devices away when you are with your family.
- No technology one hour before bedtime.
- Look at social media one time per day.
- Leave phones somewhere out of the way when doing activities with your spouse and/or family.
- Answer texts or phone calls at designated times each day.
- Remove your cell from group texts and social media groups.
- Keep laptop or computer powered off while at home.
Grace Marriage Mission
Read these 10 tech tips and decide on one or more tips to start doing as a couple. Let us know how it goes!
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.