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SAY YES! will help you learn to see the invitations in your life and say yes to them. Every marriage begins with a yes. Somewhere along the way we can start to feel unseen and unwanted. This content will help you flip that script. You will be encouraged to not only receive invitations, but keep extending them, too.


Let’s start with Spiritual Drift.

Let me ask you a question:

How satisfied are you with the spiritual intimacy in your marriage?

Spiritual intimacy can be defined as closeness to God and one another because both spouses are actively seeking the Lord.

Most of us have good intentions to seek the Lord. As life heats up, however, it is easy to become distracted, busy, and irritable. That’s when spiritual drift happens. Before we know it, we feel far away from God and our spouse. How can we close the spiritual gap when this happens?

One Small Decision At A Time

It is so important to focus on your own spiritual health. The one person you have control over is you. You don’t want to idolize your spouse or try to control them.

Did you notice that His divine power (not the actions of your spouse) has given you everything you need for life and godliness?

Are you living like it?

Let’s flesh out a potential answer to that question. We’ll start with prayer.

Let’s say you don’t currently pray with your spouse. You may compare your spouse to others who are “more spiritual” and often feel discontent in your marriage. You may think thoughts like: If only my spouse would _______________ like so-and-so. Instead of focusing on what your spouse lacks, consider saying yes to praying in your own life.

Pray. Call on the name of the Lord often and out loud. If you still have kids in the house, they are watching you. When conflict and trouble arise, pray. When good things happen, thank God. When you struggle, pray for help and power to be changed by Him. Pray the same for your spouse. Ask God to give you the mind of Christ when you are thinking about your spouse. Pray that you might enjoy spiritual intimacy in your marriage if you don’t already. In the meantime, keep focusing on your own intimacy with the Lord.

Passage for reflection: Psalm 5:1-3

This week, how could you say yes (or continue to say yes) to prayer in order to grow spiritually?

Note: Perhaps you have a vibrant prayer life and still lack spiritual intimacy in your marriage. Be encouraged that God sees you and knows what you are going through. Like watching grass grow, you can’t always see the growth that is happening in your life right away. Trust that God is at work in your marriage even as you lay your unmet desires at His feet.

In my next email, we will begin talking about Communication Drift. I hope you’ll come along as we learn to take small steps toward creating marriages we love.

See you then!

Ok, ya’ll, Valentine’s Day is this month! If obligatory holidays make you grumpy or stress you out, my husband and I can relate. But look, don’t let your stress, cynicism, or pride keep you from capitalizing on this opportunity to show love to your spouse. You have two weeks until the big day. That is plenty of time to plan something special and unexpected. Think about what would really bless your spouse and go the extra mile to do it.

Here are some ideas…

  • Detail your spouse’s car
  • Splurge at a fancy restaurant
  • Leave a love note in an unexpected place
  • Give your spouse some cash or a gift card and tell them to go spend it while you watch the kids
  • Send her flowers at work
  • Wrap up new lingerie for a gift
  • Have the waiter bring a gift to your spouse in the middle of your dinner out
  • Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway
  • Surprise your spouse with tickets to a concert or sporting event
  • Take your spouse on a marriage retreat
  • Take a walk and hold hands
  • Go ice skating or roller skating
  • Take a bubble bath or soak in a hot tub
  • Get a couples massage together
  • Give the gift of quality time—Take your spouse out, leave your phones in the car, and ask your spouse how they are doing, then really listen
  • Have flowers and a note waiting for your spouse in a clean kitchen
  • Hire a cleaner to deep clean the kitchen and bathrooms or the whole house
  • Take the kids and give your spouse some alone time
  • If you aren’t usually the planner, hire the sitter, make a reservation, and tell your spouse when to be ready
  • Clean your spouse’s desk, sort mail, and file papers, then leave a snack and note on the clean desk
  • Cook dinner, set the table and light candles
  • Clean out the garage while your spouse is away and put a sign on the garage door that says, “Open Me” — then park the car in the garage
  • Organize the storage room or attic and do a surprise reveal with blindfold
  • Clean the fireplace, open the flu, and make a fire
  • Buy your spouse’s favorite snacks and stay up late playing cards or board games

May God bless your efforts to intentionally love your spouse this Valentine’s Day.

Check It Out is where you will find links to outside resources including helpful articles, funny videos, book recommendations, recipes, and more.

✅ If selecting “the perfect card” for your spouse is important to you this Valentine’s Day, you’ll crack up at this video.

✅ Consider meditating on Psalm 5:1-3 or Psalm 62:8 today.

Listen to this song and choose to believe that God is at work in your life and marriage.

✅ Need some help praying? These husband and wife prayer calendars are a great resource to guide your prayer time.