Skip to main content

5 Questions for Becoming One in Marriage

By March 13, 2022December 9th, 2022No Comments

Conflict, communication, sex, finances, parenting, in-laws…these are always at the top of the lists of problems in marriage. In other words, we tend to see these as the things that destroy marriage.

However, as with anything we have the choice to take what is hurting us or causing problems and turn them around. The same is true of each of these as you apply them to your marriage. Here are 5 questions for becoming one in marriage.

5 Questions for Becoming One in Marriage

The late Dr. Dennis Kinlaw, world-renowned professor of OT theology at Asbury Seminary said that of all of his studies in Scripture, marriage was the most difficult and the most rewarding. He called marriage, “a union of differences.” How profound and it seems that is exactly what God had in mind from the very beginning and the fact that marriage is the union of the two different genders…male and female.

With this in mind here are 5 questions, each requiring a humble response to help you overcome the differences and in so doing allow those very differences to accomplish God’s purpose in marriage…Two becoming ONE!

Whether it’s a communication, conflict, budget, sex, finances, or whatever the issue may be…

  1. Am I dying to self or is self on the throne?
  2. How am I honoring Christ?
  3. Am I placing my marriage and my spouse above myself?
  4. How are my attitude and responses impacting my marriage, family, and legacy?
  5. What is the impact of each of these on Christ’s Church and Kingdom?

No matter your emotions, be willing to humbly stop and think through each of these questions and then respond as The Holy Spirit leads you by grace through faith. Even if your emotions get the best of you and you respond in an unloving or disrespectful way, apologize and ask for forgiveness and move forward with a renewed grace perspective in line with these questions.

You will find that the Lord is using every conflict, struggle, emotion… every difference…all the enemy wants to use to destroy you to grow you as a person and spouse and make you one to bless your marriage and bring Him glory. Marriage: You can’t do it on your own. You can only do it by grace.

Grace Marriage Mission

Review the five questions with the areas of conflict, communication, sex, finances, parenting, and in-laws in mind. Take an honest assessment of how well (or not) you’re doing in your marriage. Consider one thing you might change this week to improve.



Greg Williams is president of Love and Lordship ministries, a fellow friend in marriage ministry which seeks to educate and encourage marriages.