I came home late last night to this scene—my favorite table’s legs literally cut out from under it. It isn’t just any table; it is an antique table that my husband owned before we met, a table that has been with us through 18 years of marriage and that I spent hours refinishing a few years back. The cause of this collapse was an almost runaway gerbil and a not-so-little-anymore 8-year-old’s climb on the table, which caused the table to break partially.
What you can’t see in the picture is my child still awake, the displaced gerbil cage that had been sitting on the table, the neglected kitchen still dirty from the dinner I had prepared before I left, the grocery bags in my hands because I resisted the urge to fly past the store on my way home, the box of leftovers tucked under my chin for my husband to take to work the next day, and my dear hubby tucked away in his office, choice adult beverage in hand, working away, oblivious to it all.
In the heat of the moment, I played a noticeably passive aggressive version of the blame game coupled with a good dose of the silent treatment and felt completely justified in doing so.
Yuck.
If everything depended on me, I could easily get stuck in the yuckiness of my hard-hearted pride.
But God, in His mercy …
By the next morning, I realized that I had missed an opportunity to extend grace and treat my husband the way I want to be treated. I was so busy being angry at him for his wrongs, that I became tripped up in my own without knowing it. Of course, I was unaware of the urgent emails he had received, and the change in his night because my son lost his ride to and from basketball practice.
In the wake of failure and sin, the question for all of us becomes, What will we do next? Will we withdraw and punish, or will we forgive and pursue?
Proverbs 24:16a says, “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…”
By God’s grace, my husband and I decided to rise again and apologize. My husband, for not setting boundaries on work, and me, for overreacting and playing the victim. We experienced reconciliation as we extended the same forgiveness we receive from Christ to each other.
What God did next is so sweet. In typical God fashion, I found a pair of pedestal table bases online just a few hours away. We are currently figuring out how to pick up the bases and turn the trip into an extended date (maybe even overnight)!
Our negative situation became an invitation to creative connection. Jesus made our burden easy and our yoke light just like His Word promises (Matthew 11:28-30). So light, in fact, that we were back to exchanging Napoleon Dynamite quotes in no time.
Where have you and your spouse fallen lately? Instead of stewing on the sins of your spouse, rise again, choose grace, and receive forgiveness from the Lord so you can extend it to your spouse. Once restored, ask God to help you see invitations to creative connection with your spouse.