What is your first thought when you think about the spouse you want to be? Do you think of the areas you tend to fail, and long to be stronger or more responsible?
Maybe you think about the things your spouse has said he or she would like you to change? Marriage isn’t always easy. Here’s what no one tells you about discipline and wisdom in marriage.
What no one tells you about discipline and wisdom in marriage
New York Times best-selling author Bob Goff said “Our problem following Jesus is we’re trying to be a better version of us, rather than a more accurate reflection of Him.”
The desires to fight sin and to be a loving spouse are good and holy desires, but they are doomed to fail if our focus is on the wrong thing.
Do we trust in ourselves, or do we trust in the Lord? Do we worship willpower or God’s power?
In whatever struggle you’re having in your marriage currently, remember that you can have all of the discipline and wisdom in marriage you need in Christ.
In John 15:4-5, Jesus says, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
May God grant us the discipline in our marriages to keep our eyes on him, and the wisdom to let his word be our only standard.
Grace Marriage Mission
This week, take a moment, perhaps during your quiet time, to jot down three small areas where you often try to “be better” to your spouse in your own strength. Ask the Lord to show you how you can pursue Him instead of self-betterment.
As he responds, write down the Christ-centered solution to each problem area. For example, you could write “trying to muster patience with my spouse when I feel tired”. Then next to that problem, you could write “remember the grace I’ve been shown in Christ, and His patience with all my foolishness.”
Focus on these verses:
1 Corinthians 11:1 > Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.
Ephesians 5:1-2 > Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.
Brad Rhoads is co-founder of Grace Marriage.